I may or may not have previously mentioned that I am on a journey to educate myself on my own mental illness, which is another reason I started this blog. It gives me a place to dump all of the information I am collecting and regurgitate it in a more relatable way for myself. If anyone else reads this and it makes them feel a little better or something, well then that's just an awesome bonus.
Anyway, I have been reading books on Bipolar Disorder and I actually found one especially for Bipolar II, which is apparently really rare. The book is called The Bipolar II Disorder Workbook by Stephanie McMurrich Roberts and was available through my library on a digital database called Hoopla Digital (shout out to libraries, one of my great loves). I’m about half way through, and already I am finding it chock full of great tips and techniques for managing the depression and anxiety commonly associated with BPII, so watch out for future entries about those. I’m actually kind of excited about it, which is a refreshing change from how I normally feel about my mental illness, and I’ve inspired myself to take the same attitude toward my other afflictions (especially PCOS). Maybe one day I’ll be writing a similar blog post about those...
Another learning opportunity came to me when I recently saw a new therapist. At first I wasn’t sure she was a good fit for me, and I felt a little on edge, but the ice eventually broke and I ended up happy with the session. I specifically chose her because she was the only psychologist, as opposed to a counselor, offered by my insurance at my normal health institute. It was a virtual visit, which came with its own awkward problems (like delay and talking over each other), but it was nice to be in the comfort of my own home. We’ve only had one session, but she asked me a lot of questions about my history and checked in with me to see how much I understood about each of my conditions and how they affect each other - which no one has ever explained to me before. At first this made me feel kinda dumb and I felt a little scolded, but I did tell her about my recent goal of educating myself and she was happy to hear that. She did tell me about how dopamine works in my brain as someone with BPII and how each element in my life (even down to my beloved horror books/movies) impacts that, which was a bit of an eye-opener. Apparently, Bipolar Disorder is a game of keeping your dopamine levels consistent and even. Too much can trigger mania, too little can cause a depressive episode. Medications for Bipolar Disorder work by blocking dopamine receptors to prevent mania, while antidepressants do the opposite and increase the reception of dopamine.
She even gave me homework! We spoke briefly about music and how much it means to me, so she recommended listening to music with specific frequencies to help with my mood. I’ll report back more on that when I’ve had a chance to try it. 👻
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